Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Three Parts of Life Purpose

In his book, True Purpose, author Tim Kelley talks about there being three aspects to one's life purpose. For our purposes, we will use Tim's construct as its clarity helps simplify the process of finding one's purpose effectively. Of course, a construct is just that. Something made up to make things easier to understand. So, while this works well for finding one's life purpose, it is of course, not the final or only way to define purpose, just a very good one.

The first aspect of purpose is essence. Your essence is that part of you that does not change. It is your essential being state, that part of you that is always there. Like a ray of light that follows you into a room and leaves when you leave, you don't have to do anything to make your essence shine, it just does so naturally. It is there as your essential nature. Examples of essence are light, love, joy, kindness, etc. Your essence is a noun. It is what you are at your core.

The second aspect of purpose is blessing. Your blessing is that which you do to others and have been doing to others since you were a child. It is your gift to the world, so to speak, the action you take on a regular basis in relation to other people. For instance, you may be someone who always makes people laugh, or who helps people find their way or who teaches others to love themselves. These are just a few examples of the literally millions of blessings that people can have. A person's blessing is the core of their purpose in that it is the action they are meant to take in the world. It is a kind of action that they do over and over again throughout their lives and when they are in careers and home situations where they are free to do their blessing, they are happier than they are when they are not in situations supportive of their blessing. For instance, if a person is someone who makes people laugh and is in a situation where everything is always serious and laughing is frowned upon, they are less likely to flourish in that situation than when they are in a situation where laughter is encouraged and enjoyed.

According to Tim Kelley, everyone has an essence and everyone has a blessing. These two parts of purpose are both givens in every human being and are non-negotiable. Then, Tim posits a third aspect of purpose.

The third aspect of purpose is one's mission. One's mission is a task that one has come to this world to do once. It has a beginning, a middle and an end and when it is done it is done. Not everyone has a mission, and unlike essence and blessing, one can choose to opt out of a given mission if one does not want to do it. Examples of mission are 'bringing peace to the Middle East' or 'ending relapse from all addictions' or 'bringing equality to people of all races.' In huge missions such as these, often many people will be called to them and it will take many participants to bring them about. But, once Middle East peace has been achieved or relapse has ended or equality is a reality for people of all races, the mission is complete. A mission may take many years or lifetimes to achieve, but once it is done it is done.

One can find out what their essence, blessing and mission (if they have a mission) are. Then, once one does find them, which means once one finds one's purpose, there is the task of fulfilling it, which is a lifetime's work!

Now that we have looked at each aspect of purpose, we will take a look at how to find one's purpose in our next blog!
Please post your questions or comments to this blog or email me for more information at .

Have a great week and consider the value of finding your life purpose as the next step in your recovery!

All the best,

Beverly Buncher
Family Recovery Coach

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I'm Already In Recovery - Why Do I Need To Find My Life Purpose?

Being in recovery can give the newcomer a tremendous sense of purpose. After feeling  on the wrong side of purpose for so long, many  dive into any opportunity presented in order to give back, once the addiction  is left behind and the recovery life has begun. Sponsors encourage service as a way to leave self-centered habits behind, and many seem to require a positive outlet to fill up the time  once used to use or drink or eat or gamble or compulsively do whatever.

As time goes on, putting up the coffee and setting up the chairs, gives way to sponsoring and speaking at meetings, even taking meetings to institutions and prisons. and so purpose grows. Addicts now define themselves as' in recovery' as they 'watch the fellowship grow' around them, just as the Big Book predicts they will. This life of giving  has tremendous rewards and provides many opportunities for learning and growth along the way.

Yet, with all of this opportunity, some if not many in recovery still falter, slip into switching addictions and eventually relapse on their original substance or behavior of choice. So, why? Why does this happen?

For some it is simply falling away from the basics of meetings, steps, tools, phone calls, sponsoring and being sponsored. For others, all of these things are in place, yet the hole in the soul persists, sometimes staying a simple gnawing or yearning, sometimes strong enough to burn through to an addiction switch or even to a relapse.

This blog posits that even when one's step work is solid, there are, for some, deeper levels of spiritual work that are possible to achieve, that could, if given the opportunity, take one to deeper levels of recovery and healing.

One of the tools to get to that deeper level is the process of finding one's personal life purpose beyond the generic life purpose of all recovering alcoholics and addicts. To find one's purpose is a very private process, yet the path has been cleared to make it possible to achieve, deeply and profoundly and when it is achieved, its effects are transformative.

According to author Tim Kelley, author of True Purpose: 12 Strategies for Discovering The Difference You are Meant to Make, there are actually two ways of finding one's life purpose: the indirect way and the direct way.

To find one's purpose indirectly, one can explore the passions and interests of one's youth, the achievements of a lifetime, the yearnings of one's thoughts. This method, the one most commonly used, involves memory and imagination, but is all done on the conscious level. Therefore, its depth of knowledge and understanding is limited.

Traveling more deeply to find one's purpose directly can include meditation, dreams as well as two-way communication through prayer and journaling. In Tim's book, he explains these four methods in depth and we will look at each of them in upcoming issues of this blog.

For people with a strong recovery program, positing that it could be possible to enjoy two-way communication with a force for good within or beyond oneself is not beyond the pale. After all, the 11th step requires 'conscious contact with the God of our understanding' and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous discusses the intuitive understanding that 'grows within you one day at a time.' Many have experienced the growing hunches the Big Book refers to and feel that umbrella of protection that they may refer to as Divine Protection and Guidance.

Yet, the two-way communication this article refers to is more explicit than what is outlined in the Big Book and is useful not only for finding one's purpose but also for building and deepening a spiritual relationship with the God of one's understanding, potentially far beyond what many experience through step work. In fact, it is so powerful as to deepen one's step work substantially.

Next week we will explore the idea of finding one's purpose through this method further, focusing on the three aspects of purpose and what each of them includes.

To find out if you have enough recovery to pursue finding your personal life purpose, take the survey in this newsletter. Be sure to put your name and contact information on your survey and I will be happy to call you to discuss your results.

If you find you are ready, join Beth Scanzani and I as we take you on a delightful journey toward your purpose, beginning the week of July 12, 2010!

Til Then,

Enjoy your life in recovery!

All the Best!

Recovery Coach Bev
786 859 4050

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Survey for You: Is It Time, In Your Recovery, To Find Your Life Purpose?

Here is the survey I promised to send you on whether it is time to find your life purpose. Fill it out and send it back to me with your contact information. I'll be in touch so we can review the results together!

Until then,

Click Here to take survey

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Recovery is a lifelong journey. With that fact, come the ups and downs of life, the ins and outs, the good and the bad. Sometimes it is great. Sometimes it sucks. There are times when a recovering person wants to use and other times when using would never cross their mind. And yet, by simply not picking up the substance, food, or unhealthy behavior, the recovering individual lives to see another day of recovery and another chance to live life on a higher level, one day at a time.

When the Big Book says "trudging the road to happy destiny" it means just that. Sometimes, it's a real trudge. Nothing seems to be working and so many seemily easy and simple things seem hard, if not impossible to get done.

Still, we trudge. We move forward, putting one foot in front of the other, stringing together days, weeks and months of increasingly sane and healthy behavior. And what comes out of it? Sometimes the benefits show up immediately and sometimes they take a very long time to appear.

But as long as we continue, they do come. The promises do happen.

There can come a time in recovery, however, when 'beyond our wildest dreams' still doesn't seem like enough and we don't quite know why.

When that happens, it might be time to go within again. To renew our spiritual connection and deepen our step work. Or, if these things are strongly in place and yet we want more, maybe it's because there is more on the path that we are supposed to be experiencing as recovering beings.

One option is to look into finding the true purpose for which we were born and to pursue and manifest it with all of the strength and vigor within us. This blog is dedicated to the purpose path in recovery. To talking about the possibilities and challenges taking this path can bring.

Join us tomorrow for more on this path, when we begin with a survey about how you might figure out if the life purpose path is for you!

Til then,
Sweet Dreams!

Visit me at my website for more information.

All the Best,

Bev Buncher
The Empowerment Coach
also known as Recovery Coach Bev
786 859 4050